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It’s OK to Not Be OK

One of these days, I’m going to answer, “No. Actually, I’m not okay.” & no one is going to know what to do. 

This is one of the recurring picture themes that I see on Tumblr. Everyone reblogging pictures that say things along the lines of “I tell you I’m okay, but I’m really not. I can’t tell you the truth.” Maybe these are being reblogged in dramatic moments, where you envision your life as if you’re the lead actor in a movie and you wish your life had a bangin soundtrack to go along with all the awesome and terrible events that happen to you. Lord knows I’ve spent many hours being dramatic about my life and finding the right songs to go along with those pertinent moments. 

Maybe it’s not you being dramatic though. Maybe you really do feel like you can’t tell people that you’re not okay. Maybe you feel like you need to be strong all the time. Maybe you don’t like people seeing you cry. Maybe you think you’re better off handling your problems by yourself. What can other people do for you anyway when it’s your life that’s the problem? 

I know how that feels. I tend to be a perfectionist. Perfectionism is one of those traits that’s both good and bad. It’s good because I pay attention to detail and have a huge drive to perform well. It’s bad because I feel like I need to be perfect. There have been plenty of times where I’ve tried desperately to remain strong in front of other people, only to fall apart when I was alone. I struggle with letting other people help me solve my problems because I’m way more comfortable helping people with their problems than them helping me. There have been plenty of times where I’ve cried alone and THEN called my friends to talk. I’ve gotten better at some of these things. I still do some of these things.

My better moments have been when I’ve let other people in. When I’ve taken the walls down and told someone “I’m not okay.” It’s legitimately tough to make yourself vulnerable to another person. But it’s 100% worth it. You just have to find the right people to be vulnerable with. If your friends truly don’t know what to do if you tell them you’re not okay, you should find better friends. When you’re with friends who love you dearly, they’ll do everything in their power to make you okay again. 

[Note: I found conflicting sources for the picture. If anyone knows who actually created it, I’ll be happy to source it.]